SIX MONTHS
Here we are - the first REALLY big mile marker. There have been other mile markers and they are all big in their own way - BUT early on, the 6 month marker seemed to loom ahead of me. I remember telling my mom during that first week, that I couldn't even begin "to do" 6 months down the road - BUT I could "do" today and I knew that if I kept plugging away one day at a time that in 6 months I would be able to "do" it because it would finally be TODAY. AND here it is - I always remember the Saturdays because that was our last day together.
In some ways it feels like forever and in others it feels like ONLY yesterday. During this time God has used songs to comfort me - One of my favorites is Praise You In This Storm by Casting Crowns. Thank you, Leslie for sharing this song with me. It really seems to hit the nail right on the head with its words. I feel so steeped in my sorrow lately - but amongst all this pain I know that I am right where God wants me. He is refining me with His precious hand and I am grateful and I will praise Him EVEN when my soul is hurting. He is faithful. God has NOT promised me that my life would be pleasant and that it would be without painful trials. For it is IN these painful trials that my walk with Him grows so intimately. I would NOT trade this experience for anything -
I looked for a video version of this song - but did not like any of the ones that I saw. So, I took the liberties of making my own. Thanks for LaughterThoughts for supplying the photos from the funeral. BUT be warned - ***this might be hard to watch ***- there ARE pictures from the funeral mixed in. The lyrics are below the video.
I was sure by now
God you would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say “Amen”, and it’s still raining
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
“I’m with you”
And as You mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
I’ll praise You in this storm
And I will life my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I’ve cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can’t find You
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
“I’m with you”
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth
10 comments:
Pinky,
THat was beautiful. Isn't it wonderful to know that He whispers to us in the rain of our tears and loneliness. He raises us up when we can't carry on. I am so proud of you and the example you are setting for the kids. I know how your heart hurts each day and am so thankful that you have called on God to sustain you with His grace and mercy. I know also that Brent would be so proud of the person you have grown into. Your daddy and I love you so much and pray for you, A, C, and B constantly.
Love, Mom
Oh, Edie. I am also so proud of you for your strength in the last six months. I praise God for you in your children's lives, specifically. Thinking that it's been six months makes me long for heaven, when time won't mean anything anymore, and we'll all be together. It's hard to imagine, but I know it will be true. I know it. We love you.
Wow. I have no words...just a heart full of love for you and praise for God. Thanks for making the video...it blessed me.
Jan
So sweet that you can you can share with us this way. We praise God for sustaining you daily for us, your children, and mostly for His own Glory. We long for God's mercy to continually pour out upon you. What a heavy load you carry, but God's given you the strength to carry it gracefully. Love you Pinks.
Give Kiwi and family our love as they visit.
Jasmine
One day at a time Edie and thank God you have lean on him for support. You will get through this even when you think your world has ended. We all love you dearly!!
I happened to see your blog several months ago and just checked in for the second time. Words can't express what inner light shines through you! What a perfect example of how sometimes in a really surprising way, God decides to use you to be a witness for Him. What a precious gift He's bestowed on you. It reminds me of His grace in that all He asks is for you to accept His gift.
I will ask for your comfort in my prayers and when your alone and crying, a really excellent book for you is "Mistaken Identity-Two Families, One Survivor, Unwavering Hope." It's the story of how God used Laura Van Ryn, Whitney Cerak, and the Chosen 5 to be a witness for Him. Just like how He's using you. I think God will lift you up through Laura's sister and mother. The ending statements are so precious.
May your journey continue to lead you on the path to eternity with your husband.
Thank you for sharing the beautiful video, Edie. I am praying for you always. Love, Denise
It was beautiful, Pinky. I'm glad your program finally cooperated and made the movie work for ya.
I put on the earphones before I started the video because I knew as soon as the music would turn on, I'd have ten feet running to the computer to check out the "noise." I wanted to cry in solitude.
Six months doesn't seem possible... but I guess that gives us hope for the future. We can handle this; God will pull us through.
I love that song, but I'm so glad you put in the lyrics. I've read and reread through them several times now, really soaking them in. It's one thing to hear them, but it's entirely different to read them and meditate on them. Our help is in our Creator. Just think of that- wow.
We are praying for you... especially during these painful milemarkers. And even more so now with the update on your dad. Know that he is on our hearts and on our minds. All of you are.
We love you and miss you so much. It's hard being so far away... just know our hearts are right there with you.
I'm a friend of Laughter Thoughts and followed her link to your blog. I have been praying for you and your family for the past six months and specifically now for your father. God bless.
Oh, Edie! ((((((((HUGE HUG))))))))))
I am crying with you and praying for you and your beautiful children; I have been and will continue to. You are incredible... dear, dear lady! I love you.
Grace and peace,
Katy
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